Day 5: Naming My Sins, Finding Honesty, and Feeling God Beside Me

Day 5 of Journal of an Ordinary Man turns inward in the deepest and most honest way so far. After a calm and steady day—dinner with family, a sober evening, and a quiet heart—the journal shifts into a raw, personal confession about the two struggles that have shaped far too much of my life: alcohol and lust.

For years, I believed I could avoid facing these issues directly. I thought that if I fixed the “smaller” habits—patience, kindness, work–life balance—the bigger sins would somehow resolve themselves. But this journal has already shown me how untrue that is. Today, I acknowledge the second elephant in the room, owning the truth that healing can only begin when everything is brought out into the light.

This episode explores how surprising it is that I’ve stayed committed to this journaling process for a full week, and how much clarity has come from simply talking honestly to myself. I reflect on my youngest daughter’s success in nursing school and the joy of still being the first person she calls, even in adulthood.

Spiritually, the day is anchored in Matthew 1:20–21, where Joseph receives a message that changes the course of his life. I draw parallels between Joseph’s unexpected calling and the quiet, transformative work God is beginning in me—leading me toward rebirth, honesty, and freedom from old patterns.

If you’re wrestling with long-held struggles, searching for spiritual clarity, or longing for a fresh start, this episode offers a gentle, vulnerable look at what it means to rebuild your life from the inside out.